When starting out working from home, there was one thing I didn’t expect and that was how my relationship with my husband would change.
All of a sudden he started to assume things.
Like how I would have time to throw some of his washing in the machine, or nip up to the shops and pick something up for him, or make him a snack for when he got home since I was ‘at home’ ‘working’.
Yes, he even made the quotation marks with his fingers.
It made me want to slap him.
He didn’t understand that the days I worked without my daughter hanging off me were like gold dust.
In fact, we didn’t understand each other at all.
For at least the first few years of being a full-blown WAHM, we were on completely different wavelengths.
I felt immense pressure to be contributing to the household finances, to deliver amazing results for my clients in the limited time I had and to keep on top of being a Mum. I also wanted to keep paddling towards my dreams and goals.
We had a lot of ‘those’ battles where we would fight about who does what, who works ‘more’ and who has more on their plate.
There were lots of times I was not a good wife and put my business before my husband.
He was pissed about it and I resented him for not giving me the support for my fails or the admiration I wanted for my wins.
We both went about things in all types of wrong ways.
Eventually, I stopped trying to get through to him and I just thought to myself – I am the only one that needs to back myself.
It comes down to me.
We fumbled our way through it for a little longer and somewhere after my breakdown with PND, which was activated by my intense self-pressure of trying to do it all whilst severely sleep deprived with my second baby, everything changed.
Once I’d put myself back together, I stopped putting work first.
I put me first. A self-care plan was put into place.
Exercise, meditation, family time. As it turned out, it made me a better mother, wife and business woman.
My husband changed too.
We finally found a middle ground and learned to appreciate each other again.
To respect each other’s position.
He became more proactive about supporting me when I needed time with my business and I became more proactive at being a better and more attentive wife.
A few months ago he came up up to me and said something that blew me away.
He said he was sorry for being a dick about my business for the first few years.
He hadn’t see my vision or understood why I was spending so much time away from he and the kids.
But now he does.
Translation: he didn’t see the business bringing in justified money for all the hours I was working, and now he does.
Actually, to be honest, now that I am the breadwinner by a long shot, it has changed our whole relationship.
But, that is a story for another day.
It was not an easy process learning to understand each other’s needs.
The shift from 9-5 to WAHM changed so much more than just work hours.
Having your husband’s support can really be the make or break of your business. Their support is massively helpful but if you don’t get it in the early days, learn to be strong enough to keep chasing your dreams without it.
Believe without a doubt that you can make everything work. You just need to find the right formula and you’ll find the ebb and flow of how to adult as a wife, mum and business woman.
If I can work it out, so can you.
And, you know what the funniest thing is now?
My business has afforded my husband the luxury of quitting his full time job and starting his own business. So, he too can live a life of freedom and profit with me.
