I remember when my psychologist suggested exercise to aid recovering from PND.
She is fucking crazy, I thought.
Does she not see these two midgets that follow me around everywhere I go?
When would I ever get time to leave them and do something for myself with a husband that works 6am to 6pm six days a week?
‘Go to a gym with a crèche, you fucking moron’ she said.
Ok, so she didn’t call me a moron but in my head it felt like she did.
I wasn’t sold on the idea until I realised that someone else could look after my kids for a (maximum) hour and a half for only $3.50 so that afternoon I was at this magic gym whom look after your kids signing up on the spot.
The first few times I went to the ‘gym’ I didn’t exercise.
I sat in a cubicle in the women’s toilets and hid from the world.
Lost in the blackness of PND and the sleep deprived static of my life.
On my way back to the creche to pick the kids up I stopped and watched a body combat class.
I noticed something odd.
These people, that went to the gym and did classes, they seemed to actually like it.
I was baffled.
As I watched them I noticed they got to punch and kick shit.
It seemed enticing. I felt like punching and kicking shit too.
So, the next day I stood nervously waiting for the class to begin, I had no idea that this class would be the beginning of the end for the world of torture I was in.
For the next few months I showed up almost every day and kicked the shit of PND.
So, here is the thing.
I get my life might look like it is shiny from the outside.
In the last few weeks, I have been in Kidspot, Essential Kids, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, The Huffington Post, Women’s Agenda and Smart Company and next week I am being interviewed for The Collective.
And to be honest, my life is pretty amazing.
I have worked hard damn hard to live in the rewards of what I have created.
But, it doesn’t mean I always have my shit pulled together.
Sometimes the weight of what I have created crushes me.
Sometimes all the fears beat me.
Sometimes all the words compound me.
We all go through pain
But get smart.
Use it to your advantage.
Sit in the uncomfortableness, it is here to teach you something.
Out of the most ugliest things, the most beautiful things can grow.
I have got to where I am because PND taught me how to use pain to my advantage
It gave me pain, to feel joy.
It showed me the darkness, so I could contrast it with light.
It showed me what could be achieved with grit and determination.
The difference between people who win, and people who fail is the successful ones re-calibrate and use their pain to their advantage.
They are brave, in the face of the storm knowing that tomorrow there will be light.
They persist and evolve.
I know it is easier said than done, and knowledge is nothing without action, so here are some tips for you to execute next time you feel like giving up:
So often we run away from pain and feelings of uncomfortableness, but the sooner you learn that these experiences are part of life and are here to teach us something you can start using it to your advantage. For every fuck up in my business (and life) I have turned around and used it to strengthen my systems and my business has grown from it.
Always start with mindset. If you are in a funk, don’t try and work through it, you won’t be your most productive or on your A game, instead, spend 5 minutes watching some motivational videos on YouTube, go for a walk, run, whatever but you’ll do your best work when you are feeling inspired, motivated and in your zone of genius, not when you are feeling flat and deflated.
For every thought, there is an action. Watch what you are saying to yourself and to other people. Are you spending your time ‘below the line’ blaming other people and making excuses? Or are you taking accountability for your actions and words to ensure that you are putting out to the universe what you want to receive in return?
On the days where it all gets too much, I have friends that I can ugly cry to. I did it last Saturday and she picked me back up and put me back together so I could go out and face the world again. One of my besties came over yesterday and business developed the crap out of all my systems for me because I couldn’t hold a conversation with her over it without getting flustered. Days can be awesome, but they can also be hard this is normal in business. Have a tight knit group of ride or die friends to support you and be sure you support them back just as fiercely.
Let me fill you in on a secret about success. You don’t need to be the smartest, prettiest or fastest to crack the success code, hell I am certainly not. You just need to be the last man standing. The quitters quit, and the winners are the ones that stayed with it until the end. They showed grit, determination and they got back up after they were knocked down, they learned, evolved and used it to their advantage.